20 Signs You are a Die-hard American Football Fan

Tap to Read ➤ Roma Dar

As a fan of all things NFL, there are few things that can occupy your mind better. You believe you are a die-hard fan of the great sport of American football, and here thou shalt know whether thou art a true NFL lover, or just a poser.

Nothing is as quintessentially American as football. Blood, sweat, and tears have been spent over countless years by players and fans alike. The fans make the game; they often determine outcomes. Yes, you are a strong believer in the power of the spectator in American football.

Such passion is not exhibited for any other sport in the world, and you are proud to call yourself a die-hard fan and true lover of The National Football League. (And to a lesser extent, the NCAA).

You have lived and breathed football, yet you seem to never have your fill. It's the drug that keeps you going, and football stars have always been your only inspiration. It is your way of life, and you adore the first sniff of BBQ at tailgating parties.

From the arrogant, aggressive display of masculinity to the record breaking, 142 dB loud screaming of the Chiefs fans, the excitement of a home game to the atrocity that is a team mascot, you love even the hideously long lines for the washroom at half-time.

Your pee is the color of your favorite team in season, because you do not go more than a day treating your innards to artificially colored Team martinis and food after work. If these are not enough reasons to call yourself a macho football fan, you are The President of Uganda.

Here are a few signs that you are a jersey-at-work wearing, no-pee-until-halftime adhering, souvenir-dispensing, person-with-one-kid-in-football-class-hoping-(s)he-becomes-a-star kind of crazy, die-hard, perpetually-screaming fan of football. (Nope, we're not catering to stereotypes at all. Not one bit.)

Signs that Some Day You're Gonna Know You're Loony

You Know The History

Whenever fellow amateur fans have disputes related to facts and figures, you are the Bible they consult. Because you're a walking encyclopedia regarding all things football.

You To-hohohoho-tally Look The Part

People take one look at you and know enough to stay away in order to preserve themselves, lest you unleash a barrage of insults and a few flying fists to grace their ignorant minds about Jim Brown and Jerry Rice. You look so stereotypical that rival team fans automatically step up to clash with you taking one look at your face.

You Have Multiple Sports News Apps Installed On Your Phone

...and were caught perusing football sites multiple times at work, and have probably been fired once for it. Totally worth it, though, since you found out your boss was a Lion's fan.

You NEVER Step Out Without The Paint

You have war paint on first thing after waking on D-Day, whether it is to travel miles for the showdown or whether you plan to pig out on your couch by bunking work. (There's nothing wrong with bunking work; it's allowed for die-hard fans).

You're a Legit Hoarder

You have all past tickets of every game you attended since you were 1, neatly stacked along with all the souvenirs from that game, and have a shrine in your house dedicated to Joe Montana along with a cardboard cutout of Peyton Manning at the entrance.

You Have Sworn Lifelong Enmity With Fans Of Rival Teams

As a result, you have several people in your family whom you refuse to recognize in public...Unless they're dying of course.

Fantasy Football Fulfills Your Innermost Secret Desires...

...of being the only coach/manager in the world who is doing something right for his team.

The Super Bowl Is Your Annual Religious Pilgrimage

You can never get over the excitement of getting into that beat up old car and taking a joyride to the Superbowl, and every single trip is etched into your memory forever.

People Know You're Caraazaay

You have officially been declared 'that crazy football person' at your office by whoever is unlucky enough to sit next to you and your memorabilia spilling on to his desk.

Soccer?

You Are Only There For The Game

You are anxious for Superbowl pre-show and half-time entertainment to get over instead of enjoying it. Get on with the game already! The only use of half-time entertainment is to go to the loo, because you've been holding it in too long for your benefit. You, at some point, seriously considered buying adult diapers just so you didn't have to move from your seat.

Tailgating Is Your Way Of Showing Love

To feed hungry fans is your favorite way of giving back to the community of NFL lovers who understand you. Even though you've never done anything for charity.

You Sock Anyone Who Tries To Tell You It's A Sham

Technically, you wouldn't. Yes, you know there are rumors surrounding how legitimate it is, and the filthy money changing hands, and the doping allegations and the capitalism of it all. But no one can deny the effort those men (players) put into it, and you know that's what counts.

You Think You Can Do A Much Better Job Than John Fox

You know that if you wanted to leave your family and job, you would have done so, and made a much better tactician than a lot of coaches out there. Just saying.

You Can't Remember Ever Having A Normal Christmas

Your entire family is obsessed about football, and you know it's only right to spend Christmas as a family...in front of the telly, or at the real deal.

You Huddle With Your Office Employees

You have this annoying habit of making your colleagues and juniors huddle before any endeavor.

And you're proud to say they're getting used to it, and even miss it when you are not there to initiate (probably because you're at home watching the season playoffs). They're by now converted successfully to fans themselves.

You ONLY Dress In Your Team Colors

Not just you, but if you had your way your child would also dress in the same colors. But your wife/husband does not allow it. But you do it behind her/his back anyway.

Your Friends Are People You First Met At Tailgating Parties

This is the truth for any true fan of NFL worth his salt.

You are not the real deal unless you have made at least 10 besties at a game. You started out playing a game together and smashing car windows in the stadium parking lot. Now, you would give your life for them even if they live on the opposite coast, and you know they would too. No better community than American Football Fans a.k.a Bros/Sistas.

You'll Do Anything, ANYTHING To Attend The Home Game

Nothing, not even your nagging spouse begging you to visit your parents, or dropping your kid at daycare/hobby classes, is going to deter you from going to a home game.

Hell, you would take them along with you if they didn't have a life. You're always decked out and chanting slogans, and you embarrass your family members enough for them to shun you on Game Day. And you don't resent them for it. GO CHIEFS! (Anyone?)

You Would Love to be Buried in your Team Jersey

You were serious when you suggested this to your family but they laughed it off as one of your eccentricities. But you have given your legion of die-hard American football fan friends a list of procedures to follow in the event of your passing away. NFL Forever ♥

No matter what people think, you know that you're the best fan in the world, and that loved ones get you no matter how loony or crazy you get about your favorite team. So now that you've confirmed yourself as more than an average aficionado, get back to the highlights already!